Why Your Sweet Toddler Loves to Play the Villain — and Why That’s a Good Thing

By Ariel Cohen-Mendelson, LPCC

If your sweet, gentle toddler suddenly insists on being the “bad guy” during play — growling, stealing toys in pretend games, or declaring “I’m the monster!” — don’t worry. This phase is not only common, it’s developmentally healthy.

Around ages two to five, children are discovering complex emotions: power, fear, fairness, and control. Pretending to be the “villain” lets them safely explore these big feelings in a world they can manage. When your child pretends to be the pirate who steals treasure or the dragon who scares knights, they’re experimenting with roles, boundaries, and empathy — all crucial parts of brain development.

In early childhood, the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that helps with impulse control and perspective-taking — is still growing. Through imaginative play, children rehearse social scripts, test limits, and learn that actions have consequences. “Bad guy” play allows them to experience both sides of power: what it feels like to take charge and how others respond.

Rather than discouraging villain play, join in! Offer gentle guidance within the story: “The dragon looks scary — is he trying to protect his cave?” This helps your child integrate imagination with emotional understanding.

When toddlers act out the villain role, they’re not showing bad behavior — they’re practicing emotional literacy, empathy, and self-regulation. So the next time your little one roars like a monster or cackles like a pirate, smile. Their brain is hard at work learning how to be human — one pretend battle at a time.