The Cost of Self-Criticism — and the Gift of Self-Love

As a therapist, I often remind my clients that self-love isn’t indulgent — it’s essential. Yet, I learned that lesson the hard way.

When my son was a baby, I spent so much time behind the camera, snapping photos of his chubby hands, his gummy smile, his little milestones. But when I look back now, there are very few pictures of us together. I avoided them — convinced I didn’t look good enough. I skipped getting in the pool because I didn’t feel confident in a swimsuit. I didn’t dive into the ocean with him because I was too busy worrying about how I looked to anyone watching.

Now, those moments are gone — and I would give anything to have them back. My insecurities stole memories that could have been filled with laughter, connection, and joy.

We spend countless hours criticizing our reflection, comparing ourselves, or replaying perceived flaws. But what if we tried something different? What if, instead of self-judgment, we practiced self-compassion? What if we took the picture — not because we look perfect, but because the moment is?

Self-love isn’t about pretending to adore every inch of ourselves. It’s about recognizing that our worth isn’t conditional. It’s about choosing to show up in the photo, get in the water, laugh freely — because life doesn’t wait for us to feel “ready.”

If you take anything from this, let it be this: You deserve to be in your own memories. Don’t let insecurity steal any more of your moments. Choose to be present — imperfectly, beautifully, fully.